Shoe0nHead-Pussy Church of Modern Witchcraft

I became interested in the Pussy Church of Modern Witchcraft after watching a YouTube video by Shoe0nHead ranting about it. So, I did some digging and ran across their website:

 

https://pussychurchofmodernwitchcraft.com/

Now I am not sure if Pussy Church is based on Wiccan principles or not. However, it probably is. It is interesting to note that although Wicca may be associated with feminism, the movement is gender-neutral. Wicca is open to people regardless of gender identity (cis, trans, male, female). By contrast, the Pussy Church is open only to those who were born female. Trans people are explicitly excluded.

“Males are not permitted to participate, regardless of how they identify. We expressly reject the concepts of gender identity, transgenderism, and gender as being meaningful to defining what a Woman or Girl is.” By default, it is a TERF church according to its own definition. I am surprised that it got recognized by the IRS as a legitimate religious “church”.

As a footnote here is her rambling transcript that went with it


Hello and welcome to another episode of Oh No. I love Halloween and every day is Halloween when you’re a four that dresses up like a six. Today is actually Halloween, and you are trick-or-treaters, and you just rang mama June’s doorbell, and she is here to give you one hell of a treat.

Now throughout the years, I have shown you some crazy crazy cringy shit. But I don’t think you’re mentally prepared for what I am about to show you. And like always yes, there is a safe word if you cannot handle the cringe. Today’s safe word is hippity hoppity. I want my life to stop ‘ti.

If you’ve been around as long as I have which is roughly too long, you’ve probably heard the phrase feminism is a religion, or you’ve heard people compare feminism to a religion.

And it was never literal until now. Pussy Church of modern witchcraft sisterhood is sacred. Yes this is real. Can I just vent about this sisterhood buffoonery for a second? Please can I just take a seat right quick? Can I just pop a squat just because I am female?

Just because I have a bagina does not mean I am your sister or part of your sisterhood cult. Even like some MIG taos to this shit don’t trust the women. Brother men are not your brothers, women are not your sisters. It’s absolutely nothing more but frustrating than being grouped in with a bunch of crazies because you share the same genis or the same race, hell even the same political leaning we’re all individuals ok.

Let us move on. Thank you for finding us in virtual space. We are a congregation of female born, lesbian led women devoted to the liberation of women and girls from the oppression we face based on our sex. Please spend time reviewing the content on our website. E-mail us with any questions. Why my peepee heart? Why the pussy Church? Hey, I was thinking the same thing. Why just why we come together to form a Congress of adherence to our female born lesbian feminist based religions beliefs and traditions? We intend to serve our adherence through worship service and sistership with our congregants. We intend to accomplish the growth and continued strengthening of our congregations.
The beneficiaries to our accomplishments are the adherence to our religious beliefs. Women and girls we will achieve our purpose through regular worship and service with our congregants, and with other women and girls who may wish to become congregants. That was literally the same sentence repeated three times in different ways but okay you go on pussy Church.

Shirts available on teespring. Oh hell yeah how many ironic t-shirts can i buy until it stops being ironic? Asking for a friend. That’s where all your patreon money goes by the way a woman instead of Eamonn. How is this real? It honestly feels like I made this years ago as a parody and somehow forgot about it. No that giant CERN particle collider as something happened in like 2015, and they
successfully collided parody and reality, and that’s just the world that we’ve been living in.

Ever since no men allowed, unisex shirts ha friggin owned who may become a member any woman or girl who was born female may become a member of the pussy church. Being female at birth being female at birth so basically the only thing you need to join this church is be born female.

Which means these girls wouldn’t be allowed and these guys would, but uh whatever so this is a radical feminist Church that excludes anyone with a penis.

So yes naturally it is a turf Church but don’t call them that definitely don’t call them that or else they’ll just tell you that you have a dick even if you’re a syst woman because clearly everyone who laughs at your vagina cult must be a dude everyone who hates us happens to be a man.

Wow weird oh you gonna learn today hello welcome to shoe on head. I am the one they call when the fruit is no longer low and has fallen on the and is rotting you seem obsessed with penis coming from the I’m not even I’m not even.

Ali goddammit freakin clumsy little fin you know you only exist from my amusement.
So by now you’re probably like show they’re not that bad they’re just typical radical feminists turf types you know what’s what’s what’s the big deal.

Relax mother bitch you haven’t heard their chants.

Yet this one’s called blessed be the blood cloth peds absorbed pools of red bled and shed my monthly spool of red thread hold up rewind I heard liquid did you hear liquid I hope to god that’s water listen be the blood on your skirt bless it be the blood on your thighs blessed be the blood listen be the blood was it be the bud on your skirt blessed be the blood on your thighs blessed be the blood blessed be the bun now.

I know I’ve said it before but feminists are obsessed with their periods, because it’s the one thing men cannot have. So they try to make it seem like this magical special all-powerful thing, they make art of it they make songs of it, they smear it all over themselves.

But you imagine if men’s rights activists like smeared themselves and semen. This reminds me so much of when I would go to church with my family and there would be this extremely low energy band play doing all these chants about Jesus.

Blessed be the love I love the snapping. By the way, that’s worth a dosing my will to live with every snap. Just Barris up Elevens Barris up sisters Marisa elephants Paris up sisters we ride upon your back we walk beside you elephants. We are you it’s really hard not to make the obvious joke it’s right there it’s right there
referencing the CERN particle things.

This is a conspiracy pull it up, from you pull it up, from your womb pull it up from you, pull it up, pull it up.

Music channel like paint with it, sing with it, work with it, filled with it, love with it, love with it, love with it, fight with it, love with it, bring it up, bring it up, bring it up, bring it up, bring it up, bring it up all the time, bring it up constantly, bring it up all the time, never stop bringing it up, never stop talking about you. But our wounds, our wounds ,our wounds, our wounds ,wounds, wounds, wounds, wounds ,wounds, wounds ,hmm our turfs okay. All right, all right. That’s it, that’s it, so like always I just wanted to show you guys something weird that I found on the Internet.

But what do you think of the turf church? I think since they’re not really hurting anybody, and they’re kind of confined in their weirdness they have every right to exist and have every right to have their own space. But we have every right to laugh at them. If you could open a church to worship anything what would it be tell me in the comments and I will see you guys next time blessed be the blood blessed be the blood.

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